Follow these ten easy steps to turn on your oven:
- Light a match.
- Stick your hand into the gas chamber while simultaneously holding down the dial on the top of the stove.
- Close your eyes otherwise they will be burned by toxic gases.
- Re-do steps 1-3 because the inflamed match is about to inflame your finger.
- See step 4.
- Triumph! Success! Once the oven is lit… oh wait, no.. it’s not. See step 4 again.
- OK, now you see a little flame, remember to hold down the dial for 5 minutes and wait for the flame to stick.
- 5 minutes up! Ready to baaake.. nope. False alarm. Flame didn’t stick.
- Repeat 1-8 because you take your hand off the dial prematurely.
*Disclaimer: Your oven will have two temperatures – off or full blast hell-like demon flames.
Originally posted in 2009 on Qué Sé Yo, Argentina.