A Very Merry Buenos Aires Bloody Mary

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A big lispy spit filled Pfffft in yo face if you are the type who says it isn’t possible to get the ingredients to make a proper Bloody Mary in Buenos Aires. You don’t need no fancy tomato juice, V8, or Bloody Mary mix to make this spicy morning ruby love nectar. While this recipe does call for a handful of specific ingredients you probably don’t have on hand, once you buy the Bloody Mary staples, you’ll be whipping up so many of these brunch time delights, your loved ones will begin to think you have a drinking problem. But it doesn’t matter, because you’ll want to marry (or civil union) this Mary. Continue reading

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Pain et Vin: All You Need is Wine. And Bread. And Cheese. And Coffee. And Sandwiches.

IMG_9831If I was the type to play a pointless hypothetical stranded-on-a-desert-island game, I’d choose to be stuck with some hot bread, sensual cheese, sexy wine, and erect jolty coffee. So imagine the utter rejoice shed when Pain et Vin in Palermo Soho opened its doors for a wine-bread-cheese-coffee-Palermonites dream come true. Continue reading

Posted in Baking Bitch, Palermo, Raunchy Restaurant Review, Shit I Like, This Is Why You're Fat | Tagged , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

This Is Why You’re Fat: The Primavera 2013 Edition

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Food festivals, #MAPA, new restaurant favorites, old restaurant favorites, Peruvian food orgasms, aperitivo tours, food tours and Latin America’s 50 best: spring has sprung, bringing the rain, Jacarandás, and extra calories just in time to get your body ready for the upcoming potbellied sunga cocksock season. And of course this is why you’re fat, Spring 2013 edition.

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Avocado Toast: Because It’s Nature’s Butter, Bitch

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Butter me up with your healthy sultry oils because it’s time to break the fast with some avocado toasts. It’s a food fact that avocado makes anything taste better. Ready in under five minutes, nutritious, filling, flavorful, and fat in all the right curvaceous places, it’s time to make avocado toast your go-to breakfast-lunch-dinner-snack. Continue reading

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A Feria de Mataderos Photo Food Tour

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It’s hard to believe that after living in Buenos Aires for over 7 years, I never made it to the Feria de Mataderos. I guess I always passed it off as a pointless touristic activity, crawling with La Boca Caminito types; big boned tourists who are suited up to go trekking in foothills of San Telmo, grey haired middle aged liberals with walking sticks sporting an urban sombrero, and shady peddlers scheming to give you Argie-monopoly money as change while their accomplice slips her hand into your fanny pack. None of the above are correct, I was wrong yet again, and the Feria de Mataderos has made me fall back in love with Argentine street food.

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Posted in Culinary Tour, Food Porn, Food Travels, Forking it on the road, Shit I Like | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 15 Comments

Sha-warming Up and Puffing Hookah with Al-Zain

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Al Zain is a very special place I hold dear to my stomach. For years my solid last minute cheap delivery spot, this neighborhood family owned restaurant was always just one call away when that special 11:45pm falafel-babaganoush-shawarma-chickenkebab craving hit. (Because that kind of hummusy hankering comes up quite often). But lately I’ve been skipping the midnight soggy Middle Eastern nosh, going straight to the Las Cañitas source for some live Al-Zain in action. Continue reading

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Buenos Aires Street Food: A Bizarre Bondiola in the Woods

photo 3 I’ve searched far and wide, from Costanera Norte to Sur, on an endless quest for Buenos Aires’ best bondiola sandwich. After upsetting the treif heavens (sorry Rabbi) on many failed attempts, I’m happy to announce this porky oinky life achievement.  Continue reading

Posted in Culinary Tour, Food Porn, Palermo, Raunchy Restaurant Review, Shit I Like, This Is Why You're Fat | Tagged , , , , , | 15 Comments

Crazy For Grilling: Top 7 Most Creative Parrillas

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Forget about foolishly wasting your money away on frivolous “store-bought” fancypants grills. Instead save your pretty pesos and MacGyver the shit out of your next asado, parrilla-ing it up the poor creative way.   Continue reading

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Sipan Fusing Things Up The Peru-ponesa Way

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Down the road from the touristic Plaza Serrano turnabout, SIPAN has taken over the bottom level of the Palermitano Hotel, whipping up Peruvian-Japanese fusion delectables. Upscale Peruvian seemed a bit oxymoronic to me. Dropping a hefty centavo on a plate of fancy ceviche just isn’t right when you can get a version just as delicious for half the price at a more traditional spot. But there’s a reason Sipan is mentioned as having some of the best Peruvian food in the city, so that time had arrived to finally check out what all this Sipan hype was about. 

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The Best Unsmokeable Joint in Palermo

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In a country praised for the prime meat, it’s always baffling how so many of us are on an endless quest for a decent burger. Ground beef mix, quick high flame sear, toasted sesame bun, toppings, sauce and burger me delicious. But sadly BA has been stuck in a world of dry, flat, overcooked, unseasoned mooburgesas that always seems to disappoint. Luckily there’s a new joint in town, a fine ass juicy burger joint that is grilling the real deal. Yo Burger Joint, nice to meet ya… you lookin’ damn fine between that sliced bun.  Continue reading

Posted in Culinary Tour, Food Porn, Palermo, Raunchy Restaurant Review, Shit I Like, This Is Why You're Fat | Tagged , , , , , , , | 14 Comments