Pick Up The Fork

A Serious Eater's Guide to Buenos Aires and Beyond

Food Porn Depression: Yanquiland Chapter

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I always go into a deep, dark pit of food depression once back in Buenos Aires after an extended vacation. Generally, that intense culinary homesick feeling comes into full force Day 2 of being back, around lunch time or inside a supermarket, when I get a huge cock slap realization to the face: the food in Buenos Aires S-U-C-K S at times can be very disappointing due to a lack of variety and affordable ethnic food.  In an overall food slump for the past few weeks, it’s time to fantasize about the food that assisted me in gaining 8 kilos (right in time for summer!) while I was visiting Chicago and New York. 

Just a lonely-ass girl, sitting on a bench, eating some Shake Shack.  Ladies, that’s the way to find a husband.

Café Habana is deeeeeeelish. Think beans, rice, fried plantains, Cubano sandwiches and of course, the star of the show, this incredible ear of corn.  Charred and smothered with a bunch of creamy heaven.

Oh how liberated I feel when I’m able to actually order a salad and know that it will be good! Shrimp Cobb from Extra Virgin. Winning.

Now this is brunch.  LOBSTER eggs Benedict from Jane, light way to start off your day.

A big and GAY ice cream. My flavor of choice? The Salty Pimp: vanilla ice cream, dulce de leche, sea salt, chocolate dip. And yes I chose it for the name.
Big Gay Cake.

I’d never been to the infamous Katz’s deli, so I guess I had to go.  JEW ME UP, Deli.

Hey Argies, guess how much I paid for this Sushi? 8 dollars. That’s 34 pesos.  Spicy tuna roll with REAL *RED tuna, shrimp tempura roll and inari. There is no philadelphia in sight. TAKE THAT, beeyatch.I love Americansized sushi rolls. While my love for tempura and sweet drizzlings may make sushi snobs cringe, I could eat Tataki Crunch (shrimp tempura and scallions, wrapped outside seared spicy tuna in a sweet teriyaki sauce) and Avocado Torch (spicy tuna rolled outside avocado and tempura crunch on the top) rolls all day, everyday. Thanks Koya.

World Market has beer?! Good imported beer!

Breakfast time in Highland Park.  Plain toasted bagel with cream cheese, red onion, heirloom tomatoes and cucumber.

English muffin with avocado butter, tomatoes and TURKEY bacon.

Breakfast fit for a Jew. Bagel, cream cheese with chives, red onion, tomato, capers and LOX.

I’d pay big money for Trader Joes to send me a case of this heaven in a jar.

Homemade chopped salad with great ingredients: home grown charred sweet corn, cherry tomatoes, cucumber, fresh basil, chopped turkey bacon.
 Dear Thai Food, I really miss you. Especially Pad Thai from Cozy in Evanston.

More Thai, this time from Your Choice in Glenview.  Whoever thought “Your Choice” was a good name for a restaurant, yikes…. But it doesn’t matter because they have killer chicken satay, peanut sauce, chicken and cashews, and tofu broccoli.

Quick stop to Wilmette for some Homer’s ice cream.  Peppermint stick is my flavor of choice. Shelly likes to lick it too.

Heladooooooooooooooooo

Esnow cones with some Chicago skyline on the side.
Yeah, you read it: bacon chocolate.
After spending time in Israel, I find one of the most delicious falafel sandwiches ever at Sultan’s Market in Chicago.
Hot dawwwwg. Chicago style: all beef, yellow mustard, onion, relish, dill pickle spear, tomato, hot pepper and celery salt.Piece of Piece pizza in Wicker Park.Cold hot chocolate with a homemade marshmallow from Hot Chocolate.Celeb chef Paul Kahan rocks it at Publican.  Best pork belly of ma life, if not one of the best things that has touched my lips.A supermarket aisle devoted to canned chili. USA! USA! USA!
My first stop back in Highland Park, straight to Michael’s for a jumbo char dog and cheese fries.Best chopped salad evaaaa at Rosebud.Chunky lobster bisque. Coulda been my nickname back in the day.Plate of healthiness: veggies with rice topped with baked tofu with a red curry sauce, mixed teriyaki veggies topped with toasted cashews. Semi homemade with the help of Trader Joes.

Blue Cheese Burger with crispay fries, margarita machines and summery Blue Moon beer at D&S Tequila.After eating all that food, we needed a nap. Yes, my shorts are unbuttoned/didn’t fit anymore.

Check this out for a complete USA food porn album.

Author: ForkYou

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Comments

Comments

  2. Well…. if you keep going to Palermo and that kind of places its obviously that you will not be a fan of Argentine food…, but what is Argentine food?

    When i travel to China i dont look for a milanesa… do you?

    If i wanted to have a really Argentina food experience i definitely will go to costanera an have a
    Choripan with chimichurri and a cold Beer or just Vacio…, in NY “Asado” SUCKS big time, but that dont mean that NY food sucks…. its all just about the context.
    Dont you agree?

    Great blog girl! hugs, be cool

  3. I’m an Argie who’s lived in the US, Spain, France and has now lived in the UK for the past 5 years. It is true that there is a lack of ethnic food variety and what you do find tends to be overpriced. But I wouldn’t say the food “sucks”. I think that’s the keyword that offended some people. Our palates our used to the flavours we grow up with so it’s obvious we always miss them when we live abroad.
    I didn’t particularly enjoy the food in the US but I was only in Florida so maybe that’s not the gastronomic mecca that NY can be. Living in London I go to many different types of restaurants (Japanese, Chinese, Indian of course, Italian, French, Moroccan) and I love them all but it is also true that you can find bad food in many places, as much as over in BA. And I can’t find decent argentinean meat in London so I’m now eating asado pretty much every day while I’m on holiday in BA.

    Everyone should stop the hating and stop using words like “suck” especially when refering to food in a country as passionate about its national identity as Argentina.

    Just my thoughts :)

    Good luck and keep on eating and writing!

  4. no sean boludos. you haters are REALLY offended by a FOOD BLOG??? It’s time to get a sense of humor and realize that this is an entertaining, funny website that shows delicious fotos of food. punto.

  5. I am a food loving argie and I do not resent any comment about food here. I also love Chicago, it is one of my favorite cities in the world and the food there is great. Too bad I saw your post after returning form there, otherwise I would have gained even more weight. When we are away from home we all develop a craving for the basic, greasy and tasty stuff. I also agree that the restaurant scene in BA is overcrowded but the quality is very poor. I have my favorites and tend to stick to them. BTW, I would like also to add that it is really stupid to feel insulted in the national pride by your post, total lack of humor.

  6. Woo such passion!

    Referring to the comment about the person who was so close to licking the screen: honestly, I’m right there with you! Luckily I’ll be heading back for the holidays and some yummy, fresh food.

    What makes food in Buenos Aires suck/apestar : it’s a disappointment factor. If we order a steak, yes chances are it will be great. Anything else and it is a craps toss. In fact, eating out in BA is a lot like gambling: chances are you will come out a loser, and loose a large portion of your paycheck along the way, but people still keep going back for more, and more, and more. And no one complains when the dishes come out HORRIBLE! Edible maybe, but in no way worth the high price tag and definitely not repeat business. And it’s not as if it’s impossible to eat well in Buenos Aires due to what is available ingredients-wise. My cooking skills have become finely tuned, I can make anything now from elaborte dishes to a variety of sauces, and I can even do LOCAL dishes better than you can get in any restaurants. So why does everything suck in restaurants if even a silly foreigner with a 30 peso sartén can do better? And why do people still continue to eat out and pay outrageous prices for shitty food? I don’t know (I have ideas but I won’t share them). I do know that while I’m not yet packing my bags to head back to the US just because the restaurants are lacking, as some might recommend me and others to do, I have to nearly be bribed to eat out at restaurants, and if I do I stick to what the Argies do know how to handle: meat.

  7. jajajaja looks like your post was a little controversial! I enjoyed it and as an Australian living in BsAs completely agree with the food frustration you have here, and I constantly miss many foods that are simply unavailable or just too expensive here. I suppose the Argentines dont get it because it´s just how it is here so they don´t know any other way but yes, you are missing out on foods from many other cultures, which is strange because there are lots of nationalities here but somehow the food and culture is not accessible in the same way. I will eventually go back to my own country but it doesnt mean I (we expats) cannot have an opinion about things while we are here.

  10. Just because you don’t agree with PUTF doesn’t mean you have to be a (anonymous) bully.

    This post makes me miss food from the motherland. GOD BLESS AMURRRICA.

    • Jenn,
      We “anonymous” are polite enough to post our comments in YOUR (and the Fork) language. Something you seem unable to do… Deal with it.

      • Anonymous, with regards to my Spanish level, I’ve studied Spanish for over 10 years and have lived in a Spanish-speaking country for about 2 years now. I am completely comfortable conversing and having conversations in Spanish, so I am a little confused by your comment. Maybe you were referring to something else?

      • Entonces por que te ofende tanto un comentario negativo sobre la comida de tu pais y te pones a decirle a la gente que se vaya de Argentina?

      • Decir que la comida “apesta” (sucks) no es un comentario negativo. Es un insulto, de la misma manera que lo es si un extranjero lo hiciese en USA (no quiero pensar lo que le responderían los lectores nativos).

      • Hay que ser realmente imbecil para ofenderse por un blog, escribir ‘andate de mi pais’, poner links a food inc. y demas pelotudeces que vi en estos comentarios, y todo de forma anonima por supuesto, supongo que es lo que ocurre con muchos medios en internet, una vez que algo se hace famoso o popular, el nivel intelectual promedio de sus lectores baja. Anonimo/s, vayan a enterrar sus fanaticas caras argentinas en una porcion de pizza con 400 gr de queso de la mezzetta mientras gritan ‘marado marado!’.

      • You see ONE documentary based on the food industry in the United States and you automatically think that is where ALL FOOD comes from?? You really think all American food is made this way??! The movie is interesting, entertaining, sheds light on the awful conditions and crooks in the food industry but I think you missed the message if you come away thinking that this portrays the source for all food in the US.

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