This Is Why You’re Fat: August Edition

Quests for bloody Marys, a gastro-trip to the Ukraine, new closed-door restaurants, sandwiches and brunches galore, here are some food highlights (and low lights) of August eats. Oh, and a big RIP to my camera. It’s broken (probably caused by too much food inside the lens), which means I must take a food porn hiatus. I’ll be accepting donations to the Human Fund.


The month started with a trip to Kiev, Ukraine (Mail-order bride works the other way, too). An incredibly beautiful city, anytime I saw dumpz on the menu, I made them mine.

A delicacy in Ukraine, instead of arriving to the table and getting bread and butter, you are served bread and lard. Lard and toast for breakfast? No thanks, I was being a nice Kosher Jewish girl.

Le Ble opened up a new branch on Arévalo and Honduras – cute corner spot, nice atmosphere, massive coffees but the food is still just average. I don’t understand how they determine prices for coffee sizes – a tiny mini cup vs. a massive taza with only a few peso price difference? 

I took a break from ordering the Hot Pastrami sandwich and now am fulfilling my Yanqui-quota at La Crespo with a bagel sandwich and cheesecake. Better stock up on Lactaid pills.

I’ve been really into wrapping shit in lettuce lately – Asian POKE-inspired lettuce wraps, tabbouleh lettuce cups, ceviche wraps, I think I’ll open a shop that exclusively sells everything wrapped in lettuce.

A friend gave me a great tip for this BOMB sandwich shop in the microcentro: Latino Sandwich. Super cheap, super flavorful all on homemade toastie bread? Thank you cheebus! All the sandwiches I tried were pretty solid, but the ternera braseada sandwich happened to shine with extra awesomeness.

I’m pretty into Hierba Buena these days, I bought some of this eggplant mayo at the Buenos Aires Market and ate it in one go. So good. The avocado-cheese-chicken sandwich was pretty great too (minus the regular mayo they bathed it in).

The Buenos Aires Market in the Bosques de Palermo happened to be quite a delightful event. I bashed it once before, thinking it would just be a place to buy over-priced organic honey, but it happened to have lots of great stands. One of my favorite bakeries, Baking BA was there slinging cinnamon rolls. I also picked up queso de cabra con ají and shroomed around. 

A great brunch at Café Crespín. They have redeemed themselves.

A not-so great brunch at Sirop & Folie. Pretty average and very disappointing.

Holy Smeterling, cakes like the breasts of angels.

Oui Oui nevers fails: affordable, daily breakfast specials, and it’s the closest café to my apartment. Gallo breakfast (yogurt, granola, fruit) or the Tony (eggs Benedict) are the two go-to ordering choices.

I went on somewhat of a quest for Bloody Marys checking out Olsen, Home Hotel, Fierro Hotel, Kansas and Magdalena’s Party. HG at Fierro Hotel had the winning Mary.

Olsen came in a close second.

Tried the Pulled Pork sandwich at Pani. Nicely flavored, sweet BBQ sauce, pork cooked very nicely, topped with crunchy fried onions all served on a soft, fresh bun and with a side of creamy coleslaw. All around good, but not sure it’s worth the 50+ price tag. Hey Latino Sandwich, you should make pulled pork.

Pick up the pork, tacos del pastor from NOLAchef’s SexiMexi night.

Oh heyhey, NOLAchef also opened a closed-door restaurant. NOLA, the much-anticipated puerta cerrada focuses on Creole and Cajun food from New Orleans – and it’s mighty delicious. Crab clawed gumbo and braised pork on polenta, I am not sorry rabbi because the food was banging.

Moving along puerta cerrada scene, a glimpse of the Argie experience: a closed door restaurant asado. Adentro Dinner Club is truly a great option for foreigners (or anyone else) to venture into the asador’s home to get a taste of a real Argentine asado. A massive assortment of parrilla goodness with all the fixin’s (best grilled vegetable spread I’ve had in years), it’s a unique experience that was one of the best asados I’ve been to.

And finally, the newest closed-door kid on the BA block, the Lost Asian’s Hidden Kitchen, brought to us by one of my favorite BA food bloggers. A modern & fresh dining concept, Frances Ren Huang cooks up Taiwanese goodness on a plate, like this pork belly with braised daikon.  (Photo from The Lost Asian)

The award for the most nauseating garbage plate goes to….. the Chivito from El Gran Hollywood Parrilla. *I will not reveal the eater of this nightmare plate.

And the award for the best video of the month goes to….

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