How To Turn On An Oven in Argentina

Follow these ten easy steps to turn on your oven in Argentina:

1. Light a match.
2. Stick your hand into the gas chamber while simultaneously holding down the dial on the top of the stove.
   
3. Close your eyes otherwise they will be burned by toxic gases.
4. Re-do steps 1-3 because the inflamed match is about to inflame your finger.
5. See step 4.
6. Triumph! Success! Once the oven is lit… oh wait, fuck, no.. it’s not. See step 4 again.
7. OK, now you see a little flame, remember to hold down the dial for 5 minutes and wait for the flame to stick.
8. 5 minutes up! Ready to baaake.. DAMMIT. Nope. False alarm. Flame didn’t stick. Try again
9. Repeat 1-8 because you take your hand off the dial prematurely.
10. KABOOM.

*Disclaimer: Your oven will have two temperatures: off or full blast hell-like demon flames.

Be careful not to scorch off your eyebrows. Once I had an incident leaving me with the Uncle Leo.

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