A Very Merry Buenos Aires Bloody Mary

A big lispy spit filled Pfffft in yo face if you are the type who says it isn’t possible to get the ingredients to make a proper Bloody Mary in Buenos Aires. You don’t need no fancy tomato juice, V8, or Bloody Mary mix to make this spicy morning ruby love nectar. While this recipe does call for a handful of specific ingredients you probably don’t have on hand, once you buy the Bloody Mary staples, you’ll be whipping up so many of these brunch time delights, your loved ones will begin to think you have a drinking problem. But it doesn’t matter, because you’ll want to marry (or civil union) this Mary.

Homemade Roasted Tomato Bloody Mary RecipeBloody Mary Mix
1.5 kilos very ripe tomatoes
1 tablespoon olive oil
3 cartons tomato puré (puré de tomate 520g per carton)
2 cups water
3 Tbsp dijon mustard
3 Tbsp Worcestershire sauce
2 tsp garlic powder
2 Tbsp prepared horseradish (rábano picante or krein/jrein)
2 Tbsp Tabasco or other hot sauce
2.5 oz lemon juice (juice of 2 lemons)
1.5 oz lime juice (juice of 2 limes)
2 Tbsp olive brine, or pickle juice
1 tsp celery seed (semillas de apio)
2 tsp fresh ground black pepper
2 tsp sea salt

The Other Stuff
2 oz decent quality vodka
Ice
2 Large bottles with a lid or cap (at least 1.5 L)
Cocktail shaker

Garnish (optional)
Celery stick
Olive
Tajin fruit seasoning or crushed chipotle peppers
Cracked pepper and sea salt

Directions

1. Quickly blanch tomatoes. Slice in half and place in a roasting pan. Drizzle olive oil and put in the oven on high for 20 minutes. Once the tomatoes are roasted, food process or blend until smooth. Add one cup water and process for another 30 seconds. Then, place the tomatoes through a strainer or sieve to remove pulp. Pour the remaining strained tomato juice in a pitcher or big jug and add tomato puré and water, mix well. Chill in the fridge. **The lazy not-as-good versions: 1. don’t strain the tomatoes for a pulpier gazpacho-like drink. 2. Don’t use fresh tomatoes and just puré de tomate + water.

2. To make the homemade Bloody Mary Mix, mix together the dijon mustard, Worcestershire sauce, horseradish, Tabasco, lemon juice, lime juice, olive brine, garlic powder, celery seed, fresh ground pepper, and sea salt  You should try to combine in a container that has a thin mouth or spout, like a large measuring cup, since you will need to evenly pour into different containers. Add more or less Tabasco depending on desired spice level.

3. Pour the tomato juice into two plastic bottles (I used these Fuze tea empties) and evenly pour in the Bloody Mary mix mixture. Put the cap on and shake very well. Taste the tomato juice, if it is too thick, add more water, or if too watery, add more tomato puré. Stick in the fridge or freezer to chill. Adjust other seasonings to taste.

4. For a fancy Bloody Mary, grab a glass and rub the rim (that’s what she said) with a lime wedge. Roll the lip of the glass in Tajin or Valentina fruit seasoning,  spicy pepper flakes, or mixture of salt and cracked pepper. You’ll want the rim to be fully coated (gigglegiggle).

5. Grab a cocktail shaker and fill with ice and 2 oz vodka – it’s wasteful to use good vodka like Grey Goose but also a waste of a good Bloody if you shit it up with Peterson’s. Pour in about 6 oz of your Bloody Mary Mix (3 parts mix to 1 part vodka) and shake well. Then, strain into your prepared glass. *Personally I don’t like adding too much ice because it waters the Bloody down too much.

6. Top with a sprinkle of celery seed, a crank of cracked pepper, a squirt of Tabasco and or the garnish of your choice. Guzzle that Bloody down/

**This recipe was created for those poor human beings who do not have easy access to tomato juice. 

BONUS track recipe..

Slutty Mary Popsicles 

If you only have enough Bloody Mary mix left for one bloody, and many people who want to drink it down, make yourself some Slutty Mary Popsicles for everyone to enjoy.

Ingredients:

Leftover Bloody Mary Mix + Vodka
Popsicle molds (if you don’t own one, you should)
Freezer

Directions:

1. Mix together the Bloody Mary mix with vodka as if you were making a drink. Pour the drink into popsicle molds and stick in the freezer until frozen, about 4 hours. (Yes, even though there is vodka in there but the popsicle will still freeze)

2. Whip the bloody out of the freezer and slut it up, sucking on Mary hard.

Photo Jocelyn Mandryk

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